My body is as absurd as my mind

Things that I'm allergic to:

-Cotton candy, because it makes me ill for days on end
-Green tea, because it gives me these insane intestinal spasms that I have to keep pills on hand for
-Fake Christmas trees, because there's something in the plastic that makes me break out in a body rash
-Caffeine, because it means I itch, can't gain muscle weight, and have mild attention-deficit
-People (I'm serious), because I'm allergic to the protein that our skin and hair omits - kind of like 'live' dust.

Conclusions:

-I am hungry at the fair, I don't get enough anti-oxidants (I hope that doesn't come back to punch me in the face one day), I dislike holidays for more than their materialism, I am a student who can't wake up, and I am miserable in malls and theatres.

Good times. I guess it's better than wheat, dairy, or normal-people allergies...